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All jokes (1,743 jokes)
- A young lad was with his grandfather in the garden, when they spotted a worm emerge from its burrow and begin to crawl across the ground…
- A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he should send a box of cigars to the judge to curry favor…
- A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250…
- A young man said to his libido-driven wife: “What should we do, darling? Eat or have sex?” She replied: “You can choose
- BANRÁNAÍ…
- Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible…
- batman: *buys catwoman a drink*…
- Batman: I must save this city…
- Batman is like “oooh I dont ‘kill’ people that’s bad and evil I punch them until they are incapacitated with life altering injuries for life and have them put a strain on the healthcare system for the next 40 years
- Bears think if you’re lying down motionless, you’re dead
- Before criticizing people, walk a mile in their shoes…
- “Before I met my wife, I always felt incomplete; now I’m finished”…
- Before the Internet, we had to be physically in the same room to work together
- Before therapy: I think I’m fucked up…
- BEFORE WE CAN SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION WE MUST SEIZE THE MEANS OF STAGING
- Being 28 in 2025: I’m not ready for a relationship…
- Being an expert in social media is like being an expert at taking the bread out of the refrigerator
- Being powerful is like being a lady…
- Being powerful is like being a lady
- Best knot…
- Betty and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their uncle they would bury him at sea when he died…
- Betty had a bit of butter, but the butter was bitter, so she mixed the bitter butter with the better butter to make the bitter butter better but it made the better butter bitter…
- Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction: ElonGates
- Bill Gates woke up in the morning and found that his Mexican housekeepers were gone…
- Bin Ladin is dead! Can I travel with more than a 3 oz toothpaste now?
- Bitcoin…
- Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light
- Blow jobs wouldn’t be called ‘jobs’ if they were supposed to be fun
- Blue Screen Of Death As A Service
- boss: what is the problem…
- Bought a mechanical keyboard with more resistance so my code will be strongly typed
- Box: meow…
- Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married…
- BREAKING: Homeopaths reporting the radiation now hitting California is so dilute it is actually a cure for itself
- Breaks my heart that pirates spend their whole lives following a map when the real treasure is the friendships they make along the way
- Brezhnev is speaking at a party meeting
- builds time machine*…
- Bullets only do their job after they’re fired
- Business idea…
- buys it uses it breaks it fixes it
- By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly…
- Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won’t think twice…
- Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole…
- Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing…
- Calvin: “Dad, are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all of the opportunities you botched?”…
- CANADIAN: Let’s watch a movie…
- Can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person? …
- Can’t wait for our cyberpunk future where roving bands of techno-thieves shoot down delivery drones for loot
- Can we ban “yo momma” jokes from this site? They’re old, stupid & have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times…
- Can we ban “yo momma” jokes from this website? They’re old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times…
- Capitalist dictionary…
- Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim…
- Cashier: *Scans Condoms* “Do you need a bag sir?”…
- “Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him…
- `cat`, short for “C++ Analysis Tool”, is a command line utility designed for analyzing a C++ program and displaying which lines of code are potentially unsafe…
- Certainly the game is rigged
- Chinese takeout $15…
- chores: I’ll do it later…
- Christmas was coming and Little Johnny’s Mom and Dad took him to the mall to a see Santa Claus…
- Cocaine! Cocaine everywhere! Co… wait a second… yep… that’s snow
- Coincidentally, what humans want to be true and what they believe is true is almost always the same thing
- Communism jokes are not funny…
- Complaints of 99¢ games being too short are insane
- Complexity happens by default
- “Computer games don’t affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we’d all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music…
- cop: have you been drinking…
- Could you put that in a memo and entitle it “Shit I already know”?
- Count Dracula was 412 when he moved to England in search of new blood…
- Cow: you’re good…
- Crazy how dudes can hold back tears for a lifetime but cum in thirty seconds
- Cremation
- Dads are like boomerangs…
- Dad: Son In Iraq I killed 15 people…
- Damn girl are you a newspaper? …
- Damn girl, are you a piñata? …
- Damn girl are you a piñata? …
- Dance like nobody’s watching
- Dance like no one is watching, encrypt like everyone is
- Dark humor is like a child with cancer, it never gets old
- Dark humor is like food, not everybody gets it
- Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?”…
- Daughter: What does gays mean? …
- Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know…
- Dear Bo$$…
- Dear government: as you keep telling us, if you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve got nothing to fear
- Dear kids: If you want a job in 5 years, study computer science…
- Dear software developers: if your business plan involves tricking people into installing your software, please break your own fingers
- Dear Vegetarians, if you love animals that much, why do you eat all of their food?
- Debugging code is like a murder mystery, but you are both the murdered and the murderer…
- Deer population is controlled by releasing wolves into an area…
- “Deleted code is debugged code…
- Democracy is a human governance system where your stupidity level does not correlate with the level of influence society grants you
- Depressing pickup lines…
- Did I “kill a plant”, or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment?
- Did you ever see the graffiti on Kensington Library? …
- Did you hear Mary Poppins stopped wearing lipstick whilst giving head? …
- Did you know if you hold your ear up to a strangers leg, you can actually hear them say “what the fuck are you doing?
- Did you know “stressed” backwards spells “desserts”? That’s why the two cancel out
- Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe? …
- Did you know you only use 10% of your brain? …