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All jokes (1,808 jokes)
- A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely…
- Aliens come to earth, and they happen to be really nice…
- A lion would never drive while drunk…
- A little boy was doing maths homework, saying to himself…
- A little girl asks her father…
- A little girl asks her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?”…
- A little girl runs up to her mother and says “mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!”…
- A little girl says to her mother: “Mummy, when you were away at the weekend a strange lady came around”…
- All countries eventually got coronavirus…
- All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive
- All I’m saying is The Matrix told us that the only way to get out of the simulation is through a public phone booth…
- All my friends have birthdays this year
- All software is tested
- All the good faith that I had had had had no effect on the outcome of that sentence
- Almost every hand you’ve shaken have had a dick in it at some point
- A lost dog strays into a jungle…
- A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree…
- Always go to people’s funerals, so they’ll come to yours
- Always wanted to travel back in time to try fighting a younger version of yourself? …
- A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship…
- A man accepts a job in a village with no women…
- A man accidentally elbows a woman’s boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby…
- A man drives a train in Bulgaria…
- A man filed a report to the police that his bag was stolen…
- A man goes into a brothel…
- A man goes into a local bookstore and asks the young lady assistant…
- A man goes to the doctor for a physical…
- A man heard that masturbating before sex often helped blokes last longer during the act…
- A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost…
- A man in an interrogation room says “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present…
- A man is attending the burial of his wife, who has just died
- A man is being released from a US hospital…
- A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table…
- A man is sitting in a cafe…
- A man is walking the Las Vegas strip, and runs into the most beautiful women he has ever met…
- A man is walking through a graveyard when he sees another man squatting next to a grave…
- A man notices his wife’s butt is getting big…
- A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people…
- A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on…
- A man rubbed a lamp and an elegant genie exited from the lamp…
- A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu…
- A man stumbles across an old lamp in his work office…
- A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis…
- A man suspected of SARS is lying in bed with a mask over his mouth…
- A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows…
- A man takes his seat at the World Cup final…
- A man wakes from a coma
- A man wakes up after a heavy night of drinking to his wife happily cooking breakfast…
- A man walks into a bar…
- A man walks into a bar and orders a drink…
- A man walks into a bar and sits next to a hitman who charges $10,000 a bullet…
- A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”…
- A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree…
- A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son…
- A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by…
- A man was sent to hell for his sins…
- A man was talking to a girl in a pub, when her mother came and joined them…
- A man went to a lawyer and asked what his fee was…
- A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition…
- A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake
- A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit…
- A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan…
- A married man was having an affair with his secretary…
- A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions…
- America was not shut down properly…
- A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day…
- A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks…
- “Am I adopted?”…
- Am I eating healthy? …
- A million guys walk in to a Silicon Valley bar
- A misogynist stood in the marketplace and announced: “I’m putting my wife up for sale! Tax-free!” When people asked him why, he said: “So the authorities will impound her
- A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate…
- Among mollusks, there is none with a more elaborate shell than the “human” tongue
- A monocle walks into a bar…
- A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US…
- A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom…
- An 18 year old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months…
- An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah…
- An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them…
- An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub…
- An airplane was about to crash…
- A naked man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back…
- A naked woman jumps into a taxi…
- Anal sex is like brocolli
- An American and a Soviet general meet and brag about their latest technology…
- An American evangelist was touring around Ireland spreading his message…
- An American soldier, serving in World War II had just returned from several weeks of battle on the German front lines…
- An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day, when the daughter said, “My hands are freezing cold!”…
- An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, “Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth…
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away
- An argument is when you are trying to determine WHO is right, a conversation is when you are trying to determine WHAT is right
- An astrologer cast a sick boy’s horoscope…
- An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him…
- An attractive young woman on a flight asked the priest beside her…
- An Aussie and a Maori walk into a bakery…
- An Australian goes to new Zealand and sees a guy fucking a sheep on the side of the road, he says mate, in Australia we shear our sheep…
- A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table…
- An engineer dies and goes to hell…
- An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”…
- An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy…