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Thoughts (215 jokes)

99.9% of people are idiots.
Fortunately, I belong to the other 1%.

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Aaugh! It’s a half-hour later than it was half an hour ago! Run! Run!

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A bit of violence never hurt anyone.

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A common problem in standardization is people.

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A computer is like a mischievous genie. It will give you exactly what you ask for, but not always what you want.
Joe Sondow
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A goal is a dream with a deadline

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Aim high. No one dreams of being an accountant. (with apologies to accountants)

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All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive.

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All my friends have birthdays this year

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Almost every hand you’ve shaken have had a dick in it at some point.

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