English language (47 jokes)
6 was afraid of 7 because 789. But why did 7 eat 9?
Because he needed 3² meals a day.
A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school.🔗View joke
All the good faith that I had had had had no effect on the outcome of that sentence.🔗View joke
A man is walking through a graveyard when he sees another man squatting next to a grave. "Morning!" he calls out.
"No, just having a shit!"
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.
As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused, I stared up at him and he sneered back.
And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"
I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
boss: what is the problem
coworker: [pointing to me] that guy stole my thesaurus
me: he peddles falsehoods
CANADIAN: Let's watch a movie
AMERICAN: Have you seen Titanic?
CANADIAN: What's that about?
AMERICAN: Yes, it was. A huge one that sank
Dude 1: Hey, bro?
Dude 2: Yeah bro?
Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet?
Dude 2: Brochure