English language (52 jokes)

Isn’t it strange that the the human mind doesn’t register the the fact that I used the the word “the” twice each time in this sentence?

I told my girlfriend that I had a crush on Beyonce!
And she said to me “Whatever floats your boat”
And I said “No, that’s Buoyancy”

• 👫 Man and woman

I’ve often heard that “icy” is the easiest word to spell
Looking at it now, I see why.

Made the taxi wait an extra 10 min tonight then got in it and said “sorry about the wait” to which he replied “don’t worry pal av always been this size”.
Whole new level of taxi patter

My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.

My pen is huge !

My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, “Which one do you want?”
I said I’d take either/oar.

My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”.
She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!”
“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”

• 👫 Man and woman

Personally, I don’t believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

• 👫 Man and woman

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people
Pun in, 10 dead