๐Ÿ’ฅ

Insults (52 jokes)

As an outsider, what is your perspective on intelligence?

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Calvin: "Dad, are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all of the opportunities you botched?"
Dad: "If I were, you can bet I'd be re-evaluating my strategy."
Calvin to his mom, later: "Mom, Dad keeps insulting me."

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Could you put that in a memo and entitle it "Shit I already know"?

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Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

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Do you know that there are four types of orgasm?

The Holy Orgasm, The Positive Orgasm, the Negative Orgasm and the Fake Orgasm.

  1. The Holy Orgasm sounds like โ€ŸOh God, oh godโ€ฆโ€
  2. The Positive Orgasm goes โ€ŸYes, yes, oh yes, โ€
  3. The Negative Orgasm goes โ€Ÿno, no, oh noโ€
  4. and the fake orgasm, the fake one goes โ€ŸOh insert the name of whoever you're telling the joke toโ€
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Do you realize that people just tolerate you?

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Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

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Go act mature somewhere else. This is the internet buddy.

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Here is to another year pretending I like you people!

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I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.

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