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Life tips (9 jokes)

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

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Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win

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If you need to cover a smell fast, cook bacon. It will overpower any other smells.

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I've spent years building up a tolerance to laxatives. Just in case.

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Put that you were Time's 2006 person of the year on your resume/CV.
In 2006, Time made โ€˜Everyoneโ€ the person of the year.

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Running from a fight might keep you from getting beat up.
But then again so can faking epilepsy.

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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?

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Swallow magnets to become attractive.

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Violence is not the answer.
Unless the question is what is not the answer.

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