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All jokes (1,802 jokes)
- Two cowboys are lost in the desert…
- Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top…
- Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs…
- Two girls meet…
- Two hardcore Trump supporters die and ascend to heaven…
- Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says “Convert to Christianity, and we’ll give you $100…
- Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston…
- Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says…
- Two men are drinking in a bar, and they pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in…
- Two men only have a dollar for their night out and they want to get wasted…
- Two men were in a pub…
- Two nuns are walking down the street when they notice that a man is following them…
- Two old men are arguing about the history and the splendors of Athens and Rome…
- Two old men are sitting on a bench…
- Two rednecks flew to Canada on a hunting trip…
- Two scientists walk into a bar…
- Two tampons are walking past each other, which one says “hi” first? …
- Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob are sitting in a bar, enjoying beers…
- Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them…
- Two workers and their boss were walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp…
- Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter…
- Under no circumstances should humanity create machines in our own image
- Unless you’re over 60, you weren’t promised flying cars…
- Unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic…
- US has oil, weapons of mass destruction and massive democratic instability
- “Uuuuuur Ahhhhhrrr Uhrrr Ahhhrrr Aaargh”…
- V…
- Villains always have a PhD…
- Violence is not the answer…
- Virtual meetings are basically modern seances…
- voldemort: so yeah suck it my soul is split across seven unique objects…
- Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project…
- wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games…
- WARNING: AdBlock makes you unattractive to women
- Watching the federal government deal with COVID-19 is like watching the Ministry of Magic deal with Voldemort’s return
- We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?
- We are Schrodinger’s cats…
- Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy…
- “We build our computer…
- Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating…
- We should’ve known communism would fail…
- We’ve discovered a planet almost identical to Earth; if it turns out Apple made it expect God to be receiving a lawsuit soon
- We were having sex the other night and to my surprise my wife started punching me in the face…
- “We will either find a way, or make one…
- What are you doing? …
- “What are your real feelings about your mother?”…
- What Asian stereo type do you hear the most? …
- What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it? …
- What borders on stupidity? …
- What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? …
- What did Kim Jong-Un say yesterday before he died? …
- What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? …
- What did Pikachu say when he saw Charizard? …
- What did Raichu say when it saw Pikachu…
- What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife? …
- What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? …
- What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? …
- What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? …
- What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? …
- What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? …
- What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? …
- “What does gay mean?” asked a son to his father…
- What does my dad have in common with Nemo? …
- What does sex and the U…
- What do exploding pandas eat? …
- What do we want? …
- WHAT DO WE WANT? fewer deadlines!…
- What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on one book for years? …
- What do you call a chicken that’s afraid of the dark? …
- What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth? …
- What do you call a dog with no legs? …
- What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? …
- What do you call a flower getting a sex change? …
- What do you call a magician who has lost his magic? …
- What do you call an emo a capella group? …
- What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? …
- What do you call a stolen Tesla? …
- What do you call a virgin from Alabama? …
- What do you call a waffle on a California beach? …
- What do you call children born in whorehouses? …
- What do you call inexpensive circumcision? …
- What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? …
- What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex? …
- What do you get if you eat 3…
- What do you get when you eat 3…
- What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before? …
- What happens if you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room? …
- What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters…
- What has 6 balls and fucks all the poor people? …
- What has two butts and kills people? …
- What idiot called it a “randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo” and not “trick or treatment”?
- What if Mike was short for Micycle?
- What if they aren’t stars at all, but holes poked in the top of the container so that we can breathe?
- what I if told you…
- What I if told you…
- What is a Karen called in Europe? …
- What is a pirate’s least favorite letter? …
- What is the best male contraceptive ? …
- What is the definition of mixed feelings? …
- What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? …