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All jokes (1,809 jokes)
- what I if told you…
- What is a Karen called in Europe? …
- What is a pirate’s least favorite letter? …
- What is the best male contraceptive ? …
- What is the definition of mixed feelings? …
- What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? …
- What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time? …
- What I thought dating a software engineer would be like: “honey, I got an AI robot maid to do all our cooking for us”…
- whats a 999 error? …
- What’s a work life balance and should we buy one for the lab?
- What separates witnesses from the lowest form of life on earth? …
- What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore? …
- What’s it called when a King and Queen have no children? …
- What’s red and bad for your teeth? …
- What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? …
- What’s the difference between a computer and an American? …
- What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? …
- What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? …
- What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? …
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? …
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? …
- What’s the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted one? …
- What’s the difference between a police officer and a bullet? …
- What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? …
- What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig…
- What’s the difference between a rimshot and a rimjob? …
- What’s the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital? …
- What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle? …
- What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a worm? …
- What’s the difference between EA and my uncle? …
- What’s the difference between humans and a bullet? …
- What’s the difference between jelly and jam? …
- What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? …
- What’s the difference between North Korea and the US? …
- What’s the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor? …
- What’s the difference between yogurt and America? …
- What’s the first thing you do after sex? …
- What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? …
- What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? …
- What’s the most sensitive part of a man’s body during masturbation? …
- What’s the Presidential ventilator called? …
- What’s the special dish in a restaurant for cannibals? …
- What would George Washington do if he were alive today? …
- When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned…
- When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned…
- When an app or a service is described as “AI-powered” or “ML-based”, I read it as “unreliable, unpredictable, and impossible to reason about behavior”…
- When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it…
- When C++ is your hammer, everything starts to look like your thumb
- When does a joke become a dad joke? …
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”…
- Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies…
- Whenever you’re about to post something that begins with, “like my status if
- When he says “I fucked your mom”, say…
- When I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then three year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots”
- When I’m bored, I send a text to a random stranger saying “I hid the body… now what?”
- When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic
- When I travel, I usually pack underwear like “what if I shit myself every single day? Twice?!”
- When I was 12, I was signing a card for my grandma and I wrote…
- When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits…
- When I was 5 years old, I got a coal from Santa…
- When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight…
- When I was a kid, bedtime was 9pm…
- When I was a kid, mum used to send me to the shops with 50p…
- When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my French” after a swear word…
- When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex…
- When I was growing up, `#` was pound, not hashtag…
- When I was in high school, the school board decided that the biology students had to pay for the fetal pigs that were being dissected…
- When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a condom if I ever had sex…
- When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug
- When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken…
- When people talk about traveling in the past, they worry about radically changing the present by changing something small
- When suicide is the *only* cause of death, we’ll know we’ve either completely succeeded or completely failed
- When the fifty dwarves were down to eight, the others started getting suspicious of Hungry
- When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers
- When you breathe, you inspire
- When you quit your job to start your own business, you just substitute depression for anxiety
- When you say “poop” your mouth moves in the same way your anus does…
- When you say “poop” your mouth moves the same way your anus does when you poop…
- Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? …
- Where do little jokes come from? …
- Which one doesn’t belong: eggs, your wife, or a blow job? …
- While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything…
- While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there…
- While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink…
- While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed…
- White people don’t shoot each other in the streets like black people do…
- Whoever told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice
- Who needs the dang metric system when we have a perfectly good system of measurement based off the foot size of and old English king?
- Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve done nothing for the past few years
- Who stumbles without falling makes a bigger step
- Who wants serial killers when you can have much faster parallel killers?
- Why are asians so good at maths? …
- Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls? …
- Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear
- Why are murders so difficult to solve in Alabama? …
- Why be informed when you can use your own feelings as fact?
- Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? …
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl pee? …
- Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on Mars? …
- Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill on January 2021? …