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All jokes (1,752 jokes)
- Yes, yes Java updater…
- Yo mama so ugly her blowjob counts as anal
- You are as a candle, better burnt out
- You are much more likely to get what you ask for than what you deserve
- You are the human equivalent of a participation award
- “You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they have tried everything else…
- You can always spot extroverted mathematicians — they’re the ones who look at your feet
- You can go a long way with a smile
- You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy marshmallow which is kinda the same thing
- You can tell Monopoly is an old game, because there is a luxury tax and rich people go to jail
- You clearly have not been burdened by an over abundance of education
- You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the side
- You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving
- You don’t need a parachute to skydive…
- You got an IQ that matches your shoe size
- You haven’t been yourself lately
- You: “I’m only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me…
- You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point
- You know the difference between a Range Rover and a porcupine? …
- You know who doesn’t get impostor syndrome? Cats…
- You know why witches don’t fall off their brooms while flying? …
- You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo
- You know you’re old when the bins go out more than you do
- You look like a before picture
- You look like a visible fart
- You make me wish I had more middle fingers
- You meet a man on the Oregon Trail…
- You, my friend, are a piece of foam
- YOUNGER ME WATCHING ANY NEW STAR WARS: Wait, so this society keeps reverting back to fascism no matter how many times the good guys win?? That’s ridiculous…
- Your awesome smart phone is the crappiest tech your child will ever see
- Your birth certificate is nothing but an apology from the condom factory
- You’re cooler than me? …
- You’re impossible to underestimate
- You’re more useless than a bag of dicks without a handle
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid
- You’re not completely useless
- You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid
- You’re not scared of being alone in the dark
- “You’re telling me that I’m losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I’M BLACK?!”…
- Your gene pool could use a little more chlorine
- “Your hands are a gift from god…
- Your masturbation is none of my business…
- Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter “O”…
- Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat
- “Your the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 person online and you get a prize”…
- You shouldn’t say “shit-hole countries”…
- You think Chewbacca had a human dick or one of those red rocket things like dogs have? …
- You want me to go to a dinner party? The thing that killed Jesus?
- You want to know how old you really feel? …
- “You want to know how to paint a perfect painting? It’s easy…
- Zombie : Scientific name Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus
- Zuckerberg: “the more you know about a person, the better conversation you can have with them…