You want to know how old you really feel?
Stop drinking caffeine and popping ibuprofen. then, just wait.
Short joke 👇
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
More jokes 👇
- My god, I made my child dinner just last night, and now he’s asking for dinner again
- Sorry I missed your call earlier today
- Someday aliens are going to land their saucers in a field somewhere in New Jersey and everything is going to go just fine right up until we try to explain our calendar to them…
- If your girlfriend asks if you would still love her if she was a worm, just say yes…
- If you're like 16-18 and you're really depressed, just know it gets way worse
- "The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed" might be my favorite saying of the week