More jokes 👇

• “Mr President, at 0600 hours we received the following message from outside the solar system…
• Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy
• It’s terrifying that both of these things are true at the same time in this world…
• “I should cook breakfast! It’s been a while since I did that…
• Anyone who expects to feel safe in a driverless car has never owned a printer
• “Humans will always murder, no gun law can change that!” screams a country that outlawed too much toothpaste on a plane