I came, I clicked,
Daughter: What does gays mean?
Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other—two men can love each other the same way
Her: So what’s ‘penetrating gays’?
Me: Er… read me the whole sentence
Her: “She stared at him with a penetrating gaze”
Short joke 👇
No Nut November was pretty tough
Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had masturbation to keep my mind off of the sweet little bastards.
More jokes 👇
- I was once in an elevator and a girl dropped her iPhone as she stepped in, and we both listened to it careen thunderously down the shaft for what seemed like five minutes, our eyes wide with shock…
- If you pay me $50 I’ll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret
- When suicide is the *only* cause of death, we’ll know we’ve either completely succeeded or completely failed
- It’s weird that people interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as “Don’t trust strangers” when really it’s “Always pay freelancers”
- If you write out the basic facts of trees, but framed as technology, it sounds like impossible sci-fi nonsense