If you pay me $50 I’ll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret

I came, I clicked,

If you pay me $50 I’ll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.

A random joke?

Short joke 👇

They made a Guinness with 0.0% alcohol… It’s like kissing your sister, it tastes the same but you know it’s just not right.

When I was growing up, # was pound, not hashtag
Good thing it changed, since “pound metoo” would’ve been sending the wrong message.

More jokes 👇

Top tip: this winter, hide a collection of bones in your snowman as a surprise for the children when it melts
I saw a chameleon today so I guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon
Did you know you only use 10% of your brain? …
Distinguishing between facts and other people’s opinions is easy, but distinguishing between facts and your own opinions, much harder
Bitcoin…
Daughter: What does gays mean? …