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Money (73 jokes)
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I’m programming so that one day I have enough money to focus on my real passion: programming.
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It’s weird that people interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as “Don’t trust strangers” when really it’s “Always pay freelancers”
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I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually, he called my mobile and said, “Bring it back here right now!”
I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the
door if they could spend the night.
‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.’
‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’ The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined
that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, ‘Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about nine months ago?’
‘Yes, I do.’ Said Keith.
‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’
‘Well, um, yes!,’ Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘I have to admit that I did.’
‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’
Keith’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?’
‘She just died and left me everything.’
Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn’t include a driver
Can’t believe I’ve spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it…
law professor: you’re currently failing your ethics class
me: slides a $20 across the desk how about now?