Thoughts (216 jokes)

I dont mind mosquitos sucking my blood (i have plenty to go around) what annoys me is the need to inject the itch juice into my skin….like I’m already feeding you why are you being such a bitch. Imagine if i slapped my mom every time she made me dinner.

• 🍔 Food

If 1024 fair coins are each tossed 10 times, chances are good (> 63%) that at least one will come up heads 10 times in a row; and that coin will be proud to explain how its skill, faith, guts & determination made its achievement possible, and how that combo can work for you too.

If a 747 can carry the space shuttle, then I call bullshit on overweight luggage fees.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then my illegal logging business is a success.

• 🤵 Work

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

If having sex for money makes you a whore…
Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?

• 🏩 Prostitute

If i had a dime for every time i didn’t understand what’s going on.
I’d be like: “Why y’all keep giving me all these dimes?”

If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like “why do I keep getting all these fucking nickels?”

• 💰 Money

If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don’t care, nothing matters, so you’re never upset.