Thoughts (216 jokes)

Guys only have two moods: Hungry and horny, so if he’s not asking for sex, make him a sandwich.

• 🍆 Sex

Happiness is not enough for me !
I demand euphoria !

Has anyone who says the future of work is remote been on a video call before?

• 🖥️ Technology

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

He was so narrow-minded, he could look through a keyhole with both eyes.

I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder, so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.

• 🔫 Guns

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it

I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
I M LIVID

I couldn’t join the KKK if I wanted to, my bloodline isn’t pure enough.
Turns out my parents weren’t even related.