Thoughts (216 jokes)

Never turn down a breath mint.

Nobody ever regrets playing Russian Roulette, they only regret inviting their friends.

• ⚰️ Dark humor

Not all mysteries are solvable, but the joy comes in the pursuit.

On a scale of one to invade Russia in winter, how bad is your idea?

One day I’m going to be too lazy to breathe and just die.

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

People call me Blister. I show up when all the hard work is done.

People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.

People will swim in the ocean, even though there are definitely many corpses in it.

People will not swim in a pool with a corpse in it.

Humans all have a corpse:water ratio that is acceptable for them to swim in.