Thoughts (222 jokes)

It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails.
But when it happens no one is shocked.

It would take 8.1 seconds to fall the height of the Eiffel Tower.
Don’t actually test this

I’ve decided that today was gonna be a good day. So it will be. Period.

I’ve not failed.
I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

I want to watch a zombie movie where the real threat is the general dumbassery of mankind. Like people deliberately getting bit to prove they’re fine after, campaigning for zombie rights, trying to reason with them, refusing a cure or vaccine when one is found, etc.

I was thinking to myself like “brain is pretty amazing” then I realized it was my brain telling me to think that.
What a cocky asshole.

I wish I could be ugly for one day.
Being ugly every day sucks.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

Judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment.

Let’s not make easy things hard for the sake of making simple things trivial.