Thoughts (222 jokes)

I now know that the thing I want MOST in the world is a parrot trained to say “OK Google”

• 🐪 Animals
• 🖥️ Technology

Instead of saying motherfucker you can just say Œdipus.

In your pursuit of “beginner friendly”, careful not to become “expert hostile”

I really hope coronavirus can’t spread through sex.
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.

• 🍆 Sex

I saw a chameleon today so I guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon

• 🐪 Animals

I take Viagra for my sun burn…
It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs when I sleep.

• 🍆 Sex

It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.

It’s messed up that couch sleepy never directly translates to bed sleepy.

It’s only impostor syndrome if it comes from the Imposteur region of France, otherwise it’s just sparkling self-doubt

• 🇫🇷 France