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Technology (195 jokes)

Sex with Linux:

$ date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep

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SF movies / TV vs Reality

  • SF: Our ship is shot full of holes, but we’ll limp on across the galaxy to finish our mission.
  • Reality: A screw was poorly made, so we exploded on the launch pad.
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So Apple hates boobs, AND farts? Why does anybody like that shitty company?

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Software being ‘Done’ is like lawn being ‘Mowed’
Jim Benson
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“Software is the only business in which adding extra lanes to the Golden Gate bridge would be called maintenance”
(David Tilbrook)

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Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have an Internet connection.

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Sometimes I write a letter on paper with a pen then burn it laughing about how Google must be crying over information it will never index.

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So the acronym for X Box One X is XBOX. I see what you did there.

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So this SEO expert walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor

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STOP making fun of different programming languages.
C is fast.
Java is popular.
Ruby is cool.
PHP.
Python is beautiful.
JavaScript is awesome.
Haskell is intriguing.

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