Technology (196 jokes)

Unless you’re over 60, you weren’t promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia.
Here you go.

• 💭 Thoughts

V
V

*Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working

Virtual meetings are basically modern seances.
“Elizabeth are you here?”
“Make a sound if you can hear us.”
“Is anyone else with you?”
“We can’t see you, can you hear us?”

voldemort: so yeah suck it my soul is split across seven unique objects
harry potter: what the hell how why
voldemort: okay so first imagine we have a ledger of transactions, but instead of living in a single computer it lives on everybodys computer. now, by ‘mining’ we ca-

• 🧙‍♂️ Fantasy

— wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
— excited to play some halo 2k29
— “xbox on”
— …
— “XBOX ON”
— “Please verify that you are “annon332” by saying “Doritos™ Dew™ it right!”
— “Doritos™ Dew™ it right”
— “ERROR! Please drink a verification can”
— reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest
— only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
— still feeling sick from the 14
— force it down and grumble out “mmmm that really hit the spot”
— xbox does nothing
— i attempt to smile
— “Connecting to verification server”
— …
— “Verification complete!”
— finally
— boot up halo 2k19
— finding multiplayer match…
— “ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!”
— my mother just walked in the room
— “Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?”
— “NO!”
— “Console entering lock state!”
— “to unlock drink verification can”
— last can
— “WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card”
— drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
— pour the last half out the window
— “PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE”
— the mountain dew ad plays
— i have to dance for it
— feeling so sick
— makes me sing along
— dancing and singing
— “mountain dew is for me and you”
— throw up on my self
— throw up on my tv and entertainment system
— router shorts
— “ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF”
— “PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE”

WARNING: AdBlock makes you unattractive to women. I just installed it and now all the horny singles in my area have suddenly lost interest

• 🍆 Sex

We’ve discovered a planet almost identical to Earth; if it turns out Apple made it expect God to be receiving a lawsuit soon.

• ✝️ Christian

“What are your real feelings about your mother?”
Password security questions getting very Freudian.

• 🛋️ Psychiatrist

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

• 🧙‍♂️ Fantasy