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Technology (195 jokes)

10,000,000,000,000,000: Approximate number of ants in the world.
100,000,000,000,000,000,000: Approximate number of transistors in the world

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7up are going to introduce a new drink called F5 which is more refreshing.

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A common problem in standardization is people.

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A computer is like a mischievous genie. It will give you exactly what you ask for, but not always what you want.
Joe Sondow
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A group of wolves is called a pack.
A group of crows is called a murder.
A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

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All software is tested. The real question is whether the tester is you or your users.

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Always wanted to travel back in time to try fighting a younger version of yourself?
Software development is the career for you!

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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be a programmer,” said the balloonist.
“I am” replied the woman,”How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The woman below responded, “You must be a manager.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” said the woman, “You don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow it’s my fault.”

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A million guys walk in to a Silicon Valley bar. None of them buy anything. The bar is declared a rousing success.

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Anyone who expects to feel safe in a driverless car has never owned a printer.

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