Technology (195 jokes)

interviewer: if you can explain what deadlocks are, I’ll hire you
me: hire me, and I’ll explain deadlocks

I renamed my iPhone to “The Titanic”. Each time I connect it to iTunes, I see ‘The Titanic is syncing’.

I told a great UDP joke at a staff meeting one time, but almost nobody got it.

I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book…
She laughed at me, and said “Oh uncle J you’re so old. Just use my phone.”

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

It’s funny how everyone I encounter is really optimistic about self-driving cars except the one person I know who codes self-driving vehicles.

It’s not a data breach, it’s a surprise backup.

It’s terrifying that both of these things are true at the same time in this world:

1. computers drive cars around
2. the state of the art test to check that you’re not a computer is whether you can successful identify stop signs in pictures

I use a dark theme when coding.

Because light attracts bugs.

I’ve decided that from January 1st, I’m only going to watch things that are 1080p and above.
It’s my new year’s resolution.

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB
That was a trip down memory lane