I came, I clicked,
Sex (184 jokes)
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A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
“What are you doing?!” she asked.
“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in- law answered.
“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.
“Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained.” It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me”.
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.
“Needs ironing”…
A young guy met a sixty years old woman at a bar and she looked pretty good for her age.
He found himself thinking she probably had aย really hotย daughter.ย The young guy drank a couple of beers.
She asked if he’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double?ย
โWhat’s that?’, he asked.ย
โIt’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said.ย
As his mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, โNo, I haven’t.’ย
They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, โtonight’s your lucky night.’
They went back to her place, they walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: โMomโฆyou still awake?’
A young lad was with his grandfather in the garden, when they spotted a worm emerge from its burrow and begin to crawl across the ground. The old man turned to the kid and said:
“I’ll give you a pound if you can put that worm back into its burrow.”
The lad tried, but could not manage the task. Then he took the worm indoors, returning a moment later with it as stiff as a pencil, and proceeded to put the worm back whence it had originated. The old man, amazed at this, handed over a pound then asked the boy how he had accomplished the seemingly impossible task.
“Simple”, said the boy, “I just sprayed the worm with my sister’s hair spray.”
The next day, the old man gave the boy five pounds. The lad asked why, since he had already received a pound for his ingenuity.
“Oh”, said his grandad, “that’s from your grandmother.”.
A young man said to his libido-driven wife: “What should we do, darling? Eat or have sex?” She replied: “You can choose. But there’s not a crumb in the house.”
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Can we ban “yo momma” jokes from this website? They’re old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times.
Just like yo mamma