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Sex (185 jokes)

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.
All the slides were just pictures of me.

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When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a condom if I ever had sex.
He said, “Any person willing to have sex with you will sleep with almost anyone else.”

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Which one doesn’t belong: eggs, your wife, or a blow job?
The blow job. You can beat your eggs and your wife but you can’t beat a blow job.
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Wife was cleaning 12 year old son’s bedroom
When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband “what do we do?”

Husband says “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

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Your masturbation is none of my business.

You do you.

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