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Thoughts (215 jokes)

The awkward moment when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it blowjob.

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The closer you are to death, the harder you cling to life.

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“The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed” might be my favorite saying of the week.

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The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the Axe for the Axe was clever and convinced the Trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them
Turkish Proverb
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The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

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The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life

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The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.
Gladys Bronwyn Stern
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The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts and the stupid ones are full of confidence
Charles Bukowski
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There are three types of showers:

  1. Quick body wash
  2. Hair and body wash
  3. Stare at the wall thinking about how you are going to solve all the world problems until the hot water runs out.
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There are two things in the world you never wanna let people see how you make them: laws and sausages.
The West Wing
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