Technology (195 jokes)

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me…
Then plug me back in, see if that works.

• 👨‍⚕️ Doctor

If I poop I might miss UPS. This is a problem.

If only dead people and you understand hexadecimal, how many people understand hexadecimal ?

57006.

I found out long ago that when you look at the overall task, the cathedral you have to build, it looks so daunting that you just give up and sit down and play a video game..

If you cross your eyes while watching Tron, you can see it in 6D.

If you died today, a friend would console your family and loved ones.
A real friend would clear your internet browser history.

If you’d told me 10 years ago I’d be able to play real Mario Kart on the bus to work, I would not have believed I would get a bus to work.

• 🤵 Work

If you ever do something that “feels like a hack but it works,” just remember that a CPU is literally a rock that we tricked into thinking

If your pitch doesn’t end with “…and the cops can’t do shit.” then your startup idea sucks.

• 👮‍♂️ Policeman

If your software is free, how do you make money?

Who buys bottled water?

• 💰 Money