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Man and woman (113 jokes)
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Man, on a first date: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Men, when you get into an argument with your wife, remember: she doesn’t want to hear your opinion. She wants to hear HER opinion in a deeper voice.
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Mr. Johnson and his secretary are on a train to Paris.
They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, I’m a little cold, could I borrow your blanket? The man says how would you like to be Mrs. Johnson for awhile? The secretary jumps at the chance and begins to get out of bed. Then he replies, good, then you can get your own damn blanket.
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My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said “bless you”.
Now she just staring at the bushes confused wondering who said that.
My ex thought the eggs in my ovaries had shells on them, and i think about that every time a man makes a decision on women’s bodies.
To be fair, i also thought balls were hollow and just had sperm kinda swimming around in there.
My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary.
Well the jokes on them â they’re imaginary too…
My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order.
I probably should’ve stopped when I got to her name
My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3 years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.
I lost interest in that relationship.