I came, I clicked,
Man and woman (117 jokes)
See also:
When I was growing up, # was pound, not hashtag
Good thing it changed, since “pound metoo” would’ve been sending the wrong message.
- Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
- Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
Wife: Does this dress make me look fat?
Me: You promise not to get mad no matter what i say?
Wife: Yes
Me: I fucked your sister
Wife: I wish my boobs were bigger.
Husband: Here’s a hack that you should try that will definitely work.
Wife: Really?
Husband: Yes. Take a handful of toilet paper and wad it up.
Wife: Okay…
Husband: Great. Now rub it between your breasts.
Wife after about 20 seconds: What is this supposed to do? Nothing is happening.
Husband: You just have to keep rubbing it every day for several years and your breasts will definitely grow.
Wife: You want me to rub this between my tits for years to make them bigger?
Husband: It worked for your ass, didn’t it?
Zuckerberg: “the more you know about a person, the better conversation you can have with them.”
Obviously the guy has never been married.