Technology (195 jokes)

“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Bug in your state machine”
“Who’s there?”

“Knock Knock”
“Who’s there?”
Silence for 15 seconds
“iTunes.”

LaTeX presents a welcome change from WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) towards WYGIFA: What You Get Is Fucking Awesome

Learn to code. Da Vinci did, and his book sold millions.

• 🧙‍♂️ Fantasy

lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I’ve been spending too much time on stupid websites.
Hold on he’s saying something else now

• 🤵 Work

Looking at pine needle shadows on my car, they looked under sampled. A matrix moment.

meandthespacebarhadanargumentandnowwearenttalking

ME, IN TEARS: you can’t just say every single part of a computer system is a file
UNIX, POINTING AT THE MOUSE: file

Me: What’s the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke.

Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

Bartender: $3.

Me: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

• 🍺 Alcohol

“Minds are basically computers” is wrong if you think of computers as abstract Turing machines but spot on if you think of computers as a horrible assemblage of kludges bridging incompatible legacy code which only work because critical bugs are masking other critical bugs.

• 💭 Thoughts