I came, I clicked,
I was standing in the line at McDonald’s yesterday and just as I got to the counter my boyfriend kissed me and then loudly said “you are the best sister ever” and walked away. The girl in McDonald’s looked at me in disgust and I’ve never wanted to die so much in my life.
Short joke 👇
More jokes 👇
- Imagine how slow the rest of your father’s sperm had to be, so that you somehow ended up the winner
- So when Jesus starts a holiday dinner with “one of you will betray me” it’s amazing and dramatic and evidence of his prophetic gifting, but when *I* do it I’m “just doing it for attention” and “either gonna to have to stop doing that every time or not be invited next year”?
- I’m like an avocado: only pleasant for a short period of time, and it’s up to you to figure out when that is
- A father on his way home from work suddenly remembered it was his daughter’s birthdayโฆ
- In all fairness, Brits probably don’t do Thanksgiving because if we had to take a day off for the anniversary of us fucking over a native people and ruining their country we’d never have to go to work
- In the year 2025, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: “Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before meโฆ