Technology (195 jokes)

Dance like no one is watching, encrypt like everyone is.

Dear kids: If you want a job in 5 years, study computer science.
If you want a job forever, study computer security.

Dear software developers: if your business plan involves tricking people into installing your software, please break your own fingers.

Debugging code is like a murder mystery, but you are both the murdered and the murderer.
And a moron.

Did you know you only use 10% of your brain?
God uses the other 90% to mine bitcoin.

disruptive startup seeking disruptive disrupters to disrupt disruption

Dont, be evil

For an Alphabet company, they sure don’t know where to put the apostrophe

Due to company password policy we will be requiring all staff who get an iPhone to have their face surgically altered every 90 days.

• 🤵 Work

During sex. I suddenly stopped and didn’t move.
She: “What are you doing?”
Me: “I’ve seen this on YouPorn, its called Buffering”

• 🍆 Sex