Drugs (19 jokes)

A homeless guy asked me for money today.
I looked in my pocket and all I had was a $20 bill.
“Do I really want this money going towards drugs”?, I thought to myself.
“Nah”! So I gave him the $20.

• 💰 Money

A little girl asks her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?”

Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied: “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”

• 👪 Family
• 👫 Man and woman

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

• ✝️ Christian
• 🌈 LGBT

Cocaine! Cocaine everywhere! Co… wait a second… yep… that’s snow. My bad.

[first day on the job as a drug dealer] giggles “We don’t have coke, is Pepsi ok?”
gets stabbed

Given the current climate, Saudi Arabia is a dangerous place to visit.
I won’t beheading there anytime soon.
Although I heard it’s the best place to get stoned.

Given the current price of gas, it’s cheaper to snort cocain and run where I gotta go.

• 💰 Money

I call my weed “Yoda”, because it’s green and makes you talk funny.

• 🧙‍♂️ Fantasy

I could never abuse substances. I love substances.

I’m okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana.
But cocaine is where I draw the line.