Dark humor (37 jokes)

What’s the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn’t know, I’m just the drone operator.

• 🪖 Military

When I’m bored, I send a text to a random stranger saying “I hid the body… now what?”

When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again.
Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang.

When I was in high school, the school board decided that the biology students had to pay for the fetal pigs that were being dissected.

After the course was done, my friend Amy demanded that she be allowed to take the pig, since she had paid for it. There was some WTF from the school, but she got her pig. That weekend, she and her brother dressed the pig up in some baby clothes and a blanket, drove down the street and lit a smoke bomb in the car. They were passing a couple walking down the street when Amy leaned out of the car and yelled “Save my baby” and tossed the pig at the couple. They were doing about 50 mph so she missed the couple. The baby/pig hit the sidewalk, skidded along the concrete, shedding parts and limbs before it impacted a mailbox.

She said she had never seen such a horrified look in her life.

When suicide is the only cause of death, we’ll know we’ve either completely succeeded or completely failed.

• 💭 Thoughts

Why was the anti-vaxxer‘s 4 year old child crying?

Midlife crisis

You don’t need a parachute to skydive.
You need a parachute to skydive twice.