Dark humor (42 jokes)

Every year, unknowingly, we pass the anniversary of our future death.

Horses are actually great starter pets. They only live for about 3 days and you don’t even have to give them any food or water.

• 🐪 Animals

How’s everyone holding up?
It’s crazy out there. I’ve killed like fifteen zombies already.
Why are they all carrying candy?

How to create a unicorn : kill a narwhal. Take his horn. Hammer it in a white horse’s head. Unicorn!
What? A dead one? Ungrateful bastard.

• 🐪 Animals

I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don’t know I’m using blanks.

I lost 40 pounds in one day and YOU CAN TOO if you cut off your leg

I love writing jokes while crossing the stre

I met a Jewish girl and she asked for my number.
I told her we use names here.

• ✡️ Jew

I’m sitting here thinking about leaving my husband. He hasn’t been intimate with me since our son died.

I would leave right now, but the ambulance is still in the drive way blocking my car.

• 👫 Man and woman

In Texas, how do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

• 🇺🇸 America
• 👨🏿 Black