Dad jokes (56 jokes)

Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe?

I’m not joking, but he is.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.

“Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”
“No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”

I accidently sprayed deodorant in my mouth today
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent

I had the best Dad moment last night:

Son: Dad… how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope… I have four. point to belly Two kidneys here… points to legs …and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.

• 👪 Family

I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal
Elongate would be really drawn out.

“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer.
“All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep.
“What did you say?” challenged the farmer.
The sheep glared back and growled… “You herd me.”

In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

— Knock knock…
— Who’s there?
— Cows go.
— Cows go who?
— No idiot… Cows go moo!