How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

• 🏺 Antiquity

How Do You Spell Potato?

• If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
• If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
• If PHTH stands for T as in Pthisis
• If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
• If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
• If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

Then the right way to spell POTATO should be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU.

• 🇬🇧 English language

I dont mind mosquitos sucking my blood (i have plenty to go around) what annoys me is the need to inject the itch juice into my skin….like I’m already feeding you why are you being such a bitch. Imagine if i slapped my mom every time she made me dinner.

• 💭 Thoughts

If animals weren’t meant to be eaten, THEN WHY ARE THEY MADE OF FOOD?

• 🐪 Animals

I just burned 1200 calories.
I forgot the pizza in the oven

“I should cook breakfast! It’s been a while since I did that.”
The eggs in my fridge expired 7 months ago.

I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement.
At least I think they’re vegan. They keep shouting ‘lettuce leaf!’

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I’m not surprised, I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

I wish I was as fat as I was the day I first thought I was fat.