America (67 jokes)

Bin Ladin is dead! Can I travel with more than a 3 oz toothpaste now?

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

• 🇨🇦 Canada

Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for
He said ‘Genius’

Do you want to know why the republicans won’t impeach Trump?

Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.

• 🗳️ Politician

Europeans’ out of offices are like “I will not be working until 18 September. All emails will be automatically deleted.”
Americans: “I am in the hospital. Email responses may be delayed by up to 30 mins. Sorry for the inconvenience! If urgent, please reach me in the ER at…”

• 🤵 Work

Fox News: “Why did America waste money landing on a comet?”
Scientist: “This is a European mission.”
Fox News: “Why didn’t America get there first?”

• 👷 Engineer

Hey girl, are you a cop?
… because you’ve taken my breath away.

• 👮‍♂️ Policeman

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trump says it’s done and they all cheer in the dark.

“Humans will always murder, no gun law can change that!” screams a country that outlawed too much toothpaste on a plane.

• 🔫 Guns

If 2021 has taught us anything, it’s that Donald Trump was a regular American citizen.
He caught COVID-19, had massive debt, was about to be evicted from his house and lost his job

• 🗳️ Politician