Scientist (70 jokes)

A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec
I know, that’s a lot of information to swallow.

• 🍆 Sex

Best knot:

1. put a pair of headphones in your pocket step
2. wait 1 minute

• 🖥️ Technology

Box: meow
Schrodinger: ignore that

builds time machine
goes back in time 183 days
earth is on the other side of the sun
dies in space

“Don’t worry,” said the cosmologist, “it will all be 0K in the end.”

Excuse me, but I’m really attracted to you and according to Newton’s law of gravitation, you’re attracted to me.

Fahrenheit is how people feel.
Celsius is how water feel.
Kelvin is how molecules feel.

Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day.
Teach a man to embrace the paradoxes of quantum mechanics and he’ll give himself the same fish over and over again in an eternal loop of temporal torment.

• 💭 Thoughts

Have you ever noticed algebraists eat corn lengthwise and analysts eat corn widthwise but topologists rotate through the fourth dimension and eat it inside out?

Hello everyone! I’m a scientist and I am researching bestiality between humans and dogs.
I will be in my Lab if you need me.

• 🍆 Sex