๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜

I was having a conversation with a scammer the other day.

Me: โ€œHello.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œHello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.โ€
Me: โ€œOh no. My device? Are you sure?โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œOh yes, we have many reports.โ€
Me: โ€œOh jeez. How can I fix it?โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œIt's OK sir. We can help you right now. Are you in front of your device sir?โ€
Me: โ€œYes. I was just about to use it. I'm glad you called.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œYes sir, we are going to help you. Can you please push the Start button?โ€
Me: โ€œI think it's already on.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œOkay, sir. Now you want to click on Control Panel.โ€
Me: โ€œI don't see that.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œDo you see a bunch of information above the Start button?โ€
Me: โ€œYes.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œThat is your Control Panel.โ€
Me: โ€œWow, I didn't realize it had a name.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œYes sir, now press on Internet Options.โ€
Me: โ€œYeah, I definitely don't see any Internet options. I don't think I purchased that feature. This is just a cheap one.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œThey all have the Internet sir. Press the Start button again.โ€
Me: โ€œOK, it's the same as before.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œThat's OK sir. We are going to restart your device. Can you please turn it off?โ€
Me: โ€œUmmmโ€ฆI don't know how. I've never turned it off. Since I bought it it just kind of stays on all the time.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œThere must be an off button on your device. How do you stop it when it's running?โ€
Me: โ€œIn those cases I usually press the big button beneath Stop/Cancel.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œOK sir. Please press that button.โ€
Me: โ€œOk.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œIs your device off?โ€
Me: โ€œNo. The door popped open.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œDoor? Is there a disc inside the door?โ€
Me: โ€œNo, there's a burrito.โ€
NOT-Microsoft support: โ€œWhy is there a burrito in your computer?โ€
Me: โ€œComputer? I thought you said this was microwave support.โ€