I came, I clicked,
I walked in on my sister masturbating with a carrot earlier today. Fucking hell. Seriously? I was going to eat that later today but now it will just taste like carrots.
I take Viagra for my sun burn… It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs when I sleep.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
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