I came, I clicked,
me: how can I impress your dad?
girlfriend: he’s really into cars
me: ok
[later]
her dad: nice to meet you
me: let’s talk about pixar’s finest movie
Short joke 👇
More jokes 👇
- An American and a Soviet general meet and brag about their latest technologyโฆ
- Sex is great but have you ever gone camping in the winter with somebody special? You laid out under the bright unspoiled country stars in the middle of nowhere holding their hand, just kinda dreaming out loud about your future together, and they ain’t saying a word cause words would ruin it, they just keep squeezing that hand real tight and looking at you with those big sweet eyes and your phone goes off
- A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice โ13โฆโฆโฆ
- My wife got mad at me when she asked me “Which of my friends would you want a threesome with?”โฆ
- Pleased to announce my wife and I finally completed a six hour negotiation to pick out the movie she’s going to look at her phone to while I fall asleep on the couch
- God: To make you all safer, I’ve made sure 50% of humanity is alert in the morning and 50% in the eveningโฆ