Misogyny (15 jokes)

A misogynist stood in the marketplace and announced: “I’m putting my wife up for sale! Tax-free!” When people asked him why, he said: “So the authorities will impound her.”

• 🏺 Antiquity
• 💰 Money

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny says: “I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson

“And how about you, Sarah?”

“I wanna be Johnny’s whore”

• 👨‍🏫 Teacher

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won’t think twice…
Call a girl fat once and she’ll always remember.

Because elephants never forget.

• 🍩 Overweight

Girls just wanna have funds.

• 💰 Money

If a girl says she will be ready in five minutes she will.
No need to remind her every fifteen minutes about it.

I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

I like my women like I like my coffee
I’ve never had coffee but it smells really nice

I told you I’d be ready in 5 minutes, so stop calling me every half-hour !

Men, when you get into an argument with your wife, remember: she doesn’t want to hear your opinion. She wants to hear HER opinion in a deeper voice.

• 👫 Man and woman

She was the first woman to be sent to space.

“Houston, we have a problem”
“What’s the problem?”
“Never mind.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Please tell us”
“I’m fine.”