I came, I clicked,
Christian (45 jokes)
See also:
Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return her Father cursed her heavily.
“Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?”
The girl, crying, replied, “Dad… I became a prostitute.”
“Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family.”
“OK, Dad… as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside plus a membership to the country club … (takes a breath) … and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.”
“What was it ye said ye had become?”, says Dad.
Girl, crying again, “A prostitute, Daddy!”
“Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!”
I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.
So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn’t expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.
I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5‘2”, baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the right places. I couldn’t believe my luck.
I asked her what she did for a living. She said she taught Sunday school. Now I never had me a Christian girl, but I’m open minded so I took her to dinner.
On the way, I lit a joint and asked her if she puffs.
“Oh heaven’s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children.”
I said okay, weed’s 50/50 some people do some people don’t. And I took her to the best restaurant I knew. I ordered the steak, she ordered the lobster. I asked for the second most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the waitress came to pour, she said she didn’t drink.
I said “you don’t drink?!?”
“Oh heaven’s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children.”
Excellent food, sparkling conversation but I’m bummed out, I don’t know what to do with a girl like this.
So I’m driving her home and pass a cheap motel, I figure, what have I got to lose. So i ask:
“wanna get a room and knock boots?”
She says: I thought you’d never ask!
I say: Really? What are you gonna tell your Sunday school children?
She says: The same thing I tell them every week. You don’t have to drink and do drugs to have a good time!
🔗View joke
It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their door.
Jesus once said “He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword”
He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.