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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
- She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
- She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
- She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
- She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
- She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
- She is not a prostitute - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
- She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORIALLY SUPERIOR.
- She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
- He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
- He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
- He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
- He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
- He does not have his HEAD UP HIS ASS - He has developed a case of CRANIAL-RECTAL INVERSION.
- He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
- He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
- He is not HORNY - he is SEXUALLY FOCUSED