Depressing pickup lines

Are you suicide?

Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?

Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?

Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?

Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-depressants?

Because if I don’t have you every day I’m going to kill myself.

Are you a coffin?

Because I really wish I was inside you right now.

Are you a coroner?

Because I really want you to inspect my body.

Are you a death certificate?

Because I really wish you were mine.

Are you an electrical outlet?

Because I really want to stick my fingers in you.

Are you traffic?

Because running into you would really make my day.

Are you a sinking ship?

Because I’d really like to go down on you.

Are you death?

Because I long for your sweet embrace.

Are you the suicide hotline?

Because I really need to get your number.

Are you a hand grenade?

Because I really want to lay down on you.

Are you an exhaust pipe?

Because I really want to suck on you.

Are you a gun?

Because I really want to put you in my mouth.

• ⚰️Dark humor